But what if joy isn’t something you chase?

What if, instead, it’s something that sneaks up on you—like a surprise gift in an ordinary moment?

That’s exactly what happened to me on a recent Southwest Airlines flight. You know the drill: no assigned seating, a race to find a decent row, and usually a personal pact to keep your earbuds in and your head down. That was my plan.

I plopped into a seat next to a professional-looking man, fully prepared to disengage for the next four hours.

But something unexpected happened.

We started to talk.

Not just small talk, either. We talked about where we came from and what shaped us.

We talked about dreams, disappointments, and how both have a strange way of molding us into the people we were meant to be.

We talked about food and travel, faith and failures. And somewhere between 30,000 feet and four hours later, the conversation turned to, “So, what do you do?”

By the time we landed, I had not only made a genuine new friend—I had a contract to coach a member of his executive leadership team.

Here’s the thing: had I kept those earbuds in and stayed locked in my own world, I would have missed it. That moment. That connection. That opportunity. That joy.

Maya Angelou once said, “Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space. Invite one to stay.” But I’d take it a step further—let go of rigid expectations, and make room for wonder instead.

It’s not about expecting nothing from life.

It’s about releasing the script and trusting the unfolding.

It’s about believing something wonderful can happen—it just might not look the way you thought it would.

Harvard happiness researcher Arthur Brooks reminds us that the pursuit of happiness can actually make us less happy if we’re not careful.

The real magic?

It’s not in the striving. It’s in the receiving.

He says that happiness grows when we nurture faith, family, friendship—and live in alignment with our deepest values. In other words: authenticity.

Which brings me to something I recently heard from a scientist studying joy and love. They expected the highest vibrations in the human body to come from love and joy. But the most surprising spikes—the goosebump kind—came from moments of authenticity. When people were real. Raw. Vulnerable. Speaking from the heart.

Turns out, authenticity isn’t just a virtue. It’s a frequency.

So maybe we don’t need to chase love or joy or happiness like elusive finish lines.

Maybe we just need to show up as ourselves, wholeheartedly.

To look someone in the eye instead of away.

To stay open instead of closed.

To listen instead of scroll.

To talk to the stranger in seat 12B.

And maybe—just maybe—that’s where joy lives.

Not in the destination. But along the way.

Let your guard down. Let your earbuds out. Let something wonderful in.