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I am in love!

It hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend.



Remember what it felt like when you first fell in love? Every song on the radio was YOUR song. The littlest thing put a wide smile on your face. You bounced a little as you walked and the small stuff? No sweat! 


I love a love story. This whole Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce matchup has me rooting for a live proposal at the SuperBowl. I wept through The Golden Bachelor (and yes, I applied for the next season.) Give me a sappy Hallmark movie, and I puddle.


But these years since Mark's transition have been an exercise in learning to be alone with myself.


Truth be told, I kicked and screamed and worked every angle to fast forward through this chapter. Bumble, Hinge, J-Date, The League, and even Tinder can attest to my razor sharp focus on getting to what I thought would be the good part; my "happily ever after."


Nope. Met some nice people. Some creeps. And then...crickets.


Sigh.


Perhaps I waved a spiritual white flag without realizing it.


It wasn't like I decided to surrender.  I just got busy doing stuff that made me happy.


Going to the gym everyday. Wildly dancing with new friends. Being alcohol-free and still slaying on karaoke night. Petting puppy dogs and talking to random babies. Interviewing beautiful souls for my podcast. Savoring a sauna and clean sheets on the bed.


Instead of waiting for someone to ask me, I took myself on dates.


Like this weekend! 

Th

I chose the scenic route on my way home from a jaunt to LA to see Chaka Khan in concert (and yes, I belted "I'm Every Woman" as if I were the performer). 


Around a bend, this greeted me:

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As if the Divine pulled a fast one and announced, "Ta da!" this stunning scene took me by surprise.


Even more surprising, I burst into tears.


(Yes, I pulled over.)


These were a new kind of tears.


Tears of gratitude.


Truly, I felt awestruck by this beautiful playground called earth. And I get to cart myself around and have adventures!


Reflecting on the weekend, I recalled the spring in my step as I wandered around Manhattan Beach. Singing at the bar on the Sunset Strip while enjoying a ginger mocktail. Connecting with Uber drivers and bartenders and the random lucky person that got to sit next to me (cause you KNOW they were going to get a blast of joy.)


As I left one ultra-chic venue, the gorgeous model-like woman at the reception area said to me, "You are a queen."


I stopped in my tracks.


Me?


She looked like Margot Robbie!


"You walked in here by yourself and owned it.  You are #goals."


A few months ago, I would have perhaps forced myself to go out and fought the voices in my head that said, "loser" for being alone.


But now?


I am a queen.


Because I am in love.


With my life.





PS. Should Andrew Huberman read this post and find himself captivated by my queenness, I would not be opposed to including him in my adventures.


Hey!  Even queens are human.

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